Written by De-an Translated by Y. Chao
After hearing this story on the radio, I wrote it down so that I could share it with everyone.
There was once a child who loved to drink milk. One day, he went to the refrigerator and tried to pour himself some milk from the big bottle. He wasn’t careful enough and dropped the bottle on the floor, spilling all of the milk. At that moment, he was stunned and scared and hid in the corner of the room. He thought that because he spilled the milk all over the floor, his mother would scold him. But when his mother arrived on the scene, she said, “Wow! I have never seen such a glorious sea of milk before.” When the child heard his mother speak like this, he wasn’t afraid anymore. His mother continued, “You are very cool. Mommy has never seen such a pretty sea of milk before. Will you help me clean up the milk?”
The child’s mother got some rags and some water and together with the child, cleaned up the whole kitchen. Afterwards, she took the plastic milk bottle, filled it with water, and put it in the refrigerator. She then taught the child how to take it out without spilling it. His mother told him, “You must hold the bottle with both hands to avoid spilling it.”
My son, who is almost two, also knows how to get drinks for himself. If one day he opens the refrigerator and spills something, how will I deal with the situation? Will I angrily yell and say, “How can you be so stupid? You don’t even know how to hold a bottle. How will you be able to do anything important in the future?” Or maybe I will say, “Don’t come near. Don’t step on the milk,” and then ask my wife to come clean up the mess. I am very surprised that the mother in the story did not clean up the spill herself but had her child do it with her, in order to share the responsibility for his carelessness. And furthermore, the mother refilled the bottle and taught the child the right way to handle it so that in the future he could avoid repeating the mishap. Because of this, the child did not become afraid of making mistakes and developed the self-confidence and courage needed to face new experiences even though there would be times when he made mistakes. During such times, he could face the situation with a tranquil heart and bravely bear the consequences of his actions.
Psychologists have said, “After a mistake has already been made, you cannot erase it. No matter how angry you get, you cannot change what has already happened. Loudly scolding the child will only scare him. And anger will possibly create an even greater wrong!”
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